One Day At A Time

Honestly, I wish I had time to post everyday. Life is so full that I want to document every beautiful moment and every shred of insight I get from each new experience. But I suppose if I had the choice I would choose living a life so full that those moments I have to soak it in are precious rather than having all the time in the world to write. Everyday requires much from me: many responsibilities, a lot of work, various important decisions, making the time to magnify and serve others through my calling, and simply trying to manage my time in order to get the bare minimum of sleep I need to function. This, to most, sounds like my day to day life is hectic, stressful, and is not one to be envied. Though my daily "to-do" list is not a proper reflection of all the small miracles that make me the happiest girl you could meet.

While I am a busy girl my days are also busy spending time with the most spectacular people who effortlessly put a smile on my face, make me laugh until I can feel my (non-existent but getting there) abdominal muscles, uplift me, and warm my heart. I am surrounded by such talented, kind, generous, and spiritual people. They not only make me want to be a better person but they make me believe that I can be. What more can you ask for? This year I can honestly say has been the happiest year of my life and already I feel like I have grown immensely as a person. So much so, that I have been branching out, trying new things, and even facing fears. Besides getting a front flip (off a trampoline, don't be too impressed), and attempting a back flip into a foam pit among other things, I also did the impossible; I sang in front of a crowd of people.

Last night I put on a talent show for my ward. I went around, signed people up against their will, and hassled everyone to make it. Luckily, the members of my ward, either out of fear or respect, signed up for the momentous night. Never have I been so impressed nor laughed so hard at a talent show in my life. The talent in my ward was not the only spectacular thing, but there was also so much love and this great level of comfort we all have with one another. Talent after talent we laughed and cheered for the various acts until it came to me. I was the last act, the finale, the ending note to what had been a flawless show. With the support of my ward members, the threats of my roommates, and the help of a very special person I went on stage and did what I thought I was incapable of doing. I ended up singing "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry while Brinton played the piano and sang along side me. I stood up when I was done, took a bow, and ended the show. Relief flooded over me knowing that not only was the talent show over, and it had been a success, but I had faced my fears and had felt empowered. Certain people come into your life to bring you happiness, guide you on your way, and help you to become a better person. I feel so blessed to have so many of these people apart of my life.

I am hoping to put up the video of my performance on my blog relatively soon. That is, unless I watch it and deem it to be completely unbearable to watch. I sure hope not! Anyhow, I just wanted to note that I am getting better at writing shorter blog posts (starting with this one) and have already been fairly consistent with how often I write. Check those off my New Year's resolutions! Hope you all are making the  most out of your lives and seeing the beauty in each day. Keep that smile on your face and you will see it spread! Over and out...

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

You miss out on life when you are missing a positive attitude. While trying to gather my collective thoughts  I have had recently, this is what it came down to. Your attitude controls the way you see every situation you are placed in and has the deciding influence on how you react. The more you think positive thoughts the more you will enjoy your life and enjoy all the little things around you.

This is exactly what happened at work on Saturday. The following weekend was my first time working at the MTC and looking back I had started the day right off with a "not so great" attitude. I had only gotten three hours of sleep (due to a wonderful date that I enjoyed every minute of) so I was running a little bit on empty. Hastily getting ready to head off to my first day I left my apartment at six thirty with an empty stomach, a light jacket, and was not looking forward to walking through the lightly falling snow that hadn't stopped since before I had gotten home that night. I trudged along, cringing at the sound of the snow beneath my feet and shivering profusely as the bitter chill bit at my face and made me regret not wearing a warmer jacket. Complaining the whole time to myself, and aloud to Kiffyn and Adam, I had started my day off with a "cup is half empty" attitude.

When it came to my second shift that day, that attitude I had started my day out with began to have a great affect on how I was feeling about working in the dish room for my first time. Waiting at the loading station my supervisor explained my job and thoroughly went through all I needed to know. He proceeded to tell me how nine people had not shown up that day and things were going to be a little hectic. Apologetically, he informed me that the job I was about to be doing was usually done by two people but because we were short that day I was going to work it alone. To me it sounded like my current situation in that dish room couldn't get much worse. And then the shift started...

As he had predicted the job was a struggle without the extra help and the entire time I worked those three hours I thought about how difficult it was, how much I disliked all of the people who didn't come in, and how I hated every minute of that shift. As you might have predicted I ended that shift feeling like I had just been tortured and as I thought about how I never wanted to go through that again I was reminded of the fact that I had two shifts in the dish room the next day, Sunday, which was apparently twice as fast paced and difficult. From then on my thoughts about that job were negative and my comments to people about it came out as incessant complaining. 

Now if I hadn't been so negative I would have noticed:

• I was lucky enough to have a supervisor who came and helped me every so often when I was falling really behind.
• With his help I could not only catch up, but his positive attitude and light-hearted humor made working so much more enjoyable.
• So many people today are unemployed and I was blessed with being able to have a job to help provide me with funds I need to put towards reaching future goals of mine.
• The people all around me were all great people who were working hard and were also relying on me so we could accomplish the task at hand which was to clean up after the missionaries.
• And finally, I failed to realize what a blessing it was to be able to serve the missionaries in such a humbling way.

I am pleased to say that my experience in the dish room this weekend was much more enjoyable. I laughed, joked, danced around a little before the shift, and made some new friends. While I still loved working on line and getting to see some friends in the MTC and work close with the missionaries, I realized that the dish room can be just as enjoyable or more so. I also realized that working in that room is not like a video game, if I can not get all the trays at once I am not going to lose and have to go back to level one. All I can do is work as fast and efficiently as possible and take things one at a time. This is exactly what I have to do in life as well. Life comes at you fast and if you are worrying about all your problems and tasks you have to accomplish as a collective whole then all those little worries will combine to look like a great big mountain that can never be conquered. I am happy to say this is not the case. We must take everything we are given one thing at a time and by this we can accomplish so much.

I hope everyone that reads this will remember to take things at your own pace and look for the good things in life while you are doing it. We are all so blessed in so many ways, some being so tiny that we fail to recognize what the the Lord has done for us. But if we notice these things we will be more positive and have the strength and diligence to conquer every mountain we come up against, no matter how large.

Breathe in the fresh, NEW, air!

It is crazy how fast life can change! In the past two weeks being back up at school I feel like I have had so many new experiences and life has come at me so rapidly. Looking back on the person I was last year, and everything 2011 consisted of, I give one last backward glance to say good bye and turn to the year I have ahead of me with welcoming arms! Already I have so many decisions to make, so many things to do, and so many new opportunities to enjoy life. Now is the time to seize the day. :]

So far this year has treated me to:

• Back to back classes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
• More homework than I have ever had before.
• My first walk to work in falling snow. (The crunch of snow beneath my feet was quite unsettling..)
• Long work hours in the busy dish room.
• Spending my first fast Sunday working back to back shifts at the MTC. (Oh the disappointment!)
• Going to my first day at work with only three hours of sleep.
• Four to five hours of sleep followed by school days consisting of five hours of classes.
• Missing fun things with friends because of a heavy work load/ feeling sick.

But it also has brought me:

• New classes with teachers and subjects that help me look forward to the hours spent sitting in the classroom.
• Finishing homework days before it's due.
• Acquaintances that are already turning into good friends.
• An eight hour date that flew by with all the laughter, good conversation, and fun.
• A job that allows me to serve the missionaries going out to do the Lord's work.
• An income that will help me get closer to some 2012 dreams of mine.
• Looking around at ward prayer and feeling the appreciation and love I have for my ward family.
• Eating so healthy, having energy, working out and loving every minute of it.
• Looking forward to another AMAZING semester with the BEST roommates anyone could ask for.
• Being able to wake up at six in the morning and accomplish things before my crazy day starts.
• A contemporary dance class that brings the biggest smile to my face, works my muscles, helps me to remember how much I love to dance, and reminds me just a bit of how flexible I used to be. (And am going to be again real soon!)
• Being able to feel so close to my twin/sister/best friend even though she lives in a different country.
• Late night talks, listening to fabulous music, and being too happy to fall asleep.

It seems that 2012 is already spoiling me! I'm so excited to make the most of this year and continue working towards the person I'm trying to be. Good bye 2011 hello 2012. :]

Starting Fresh

My, oh my! I love the tangible excitement in the air that comes with the first day of classes. Everyone feels refreshed from the break, confident in their new clothes, and optimistic about their classes. On top of this, the weather was beautiful today! Heading back to Provo from Vegas I was crossing my fingers that I wouldn't be greeted with a blanket of white and thank goodness I have been spared just a little bit longer. The slight chill subsided with the afternoon and a cool breeze provided the perfect, almost fall like, weather.

With this wonderful feeling in the air I went to class after class and was continuously impressed by my professors, the courses, and the classmates that are about to be my life this semester. Never have I felt so much excitement on a first day! My usual anxiety on being late to class, or not being able to find the room, or even knowing who to sit next to was no where to be found. I went through my first five classes with ease and a calm, reassuring feeling that I am going to love these next four months ahead of me.

A bit of nostalgia hit me, though, as I sat in my last class of the day. Last semester I had my sign language class in the same room and with all the memories had there the memory of my very first day stuck out. Today, when I walked into that class I was not enrolled yet into the course and this brought me back to the first time I walked into that room, into a class I was also not enrolled in....

I recently found this in my notebook from last semester explaining what happened that, well, embarrassing day:

Ever since I was a little girl, for whatever reason, I have had great anxiety about being late to classes as well as getting lost in unfamiliar places. In order to avoid this happening the second week of school I took extra care to leave my apartment with enough cushion time to find the new classes I had added. There I was, walking steadily to my very first ASL class Tuesday evening, relaxed as can be. All I had on my mind was to find that class of mine and get in there before the start to find a seat. With such a primary focus I foolishly let all other reason and thought go unrecognized. So it was no surprise what happened next...

I find the small classroom for ASL in the MARB easily and quickly as I walk into the building. With my delight I don't even think about the fact that I left about twenty minutes too early and I walk directly into the class to sit among the other students. Still absently walking, I take a seat near the back, completely failing to notice that the young TA talking at the front of the room is not my deaf ASL teacher and class has been going on for about half an hour at this point. I had sat down and pulled out my notebook by the time all these fuzzy details came into focus. Learning nothing from my previous adventure in the library, I figured it was too late to turn back; I had a seat, my notebook was out, I was committed.

 To my horror the TA, looking right at me (as well as the other twenty students in the class), asked for my name and quizzically asked if I was in this class. Oh no! She knows! My stomach dropped and imaginary bullets of sweat began to poor down my face. I had no intention of making a fool of myself in front of this class full of students so I did all that there was left to do...lie. Without skipping a beat, I cleverly replied, "Oh no, I'm not. I have been thinking about adding this class so I thought I would sit in and get a feel for it. Sorry I walked in so late." Ah-ha! I had been quick with my response and this assured me that I was in the clear. All I had to do now was sit quietly and be inconspicuous for the next fifteen to twenty minutes. Most would find this to be a short amount of time but as I sat in that classroom my thoughts gave me no rest. I was sure that any moment one of the other students was going to stand up and point directly at my ashamed face while exclaiming, "She is lying, she does not belong here!" In turn exposing me for the fraud I was.

The clock ticked uncomfortably slow as I hid my head in shame writing the longest to-do list of my life. Finally that blessed time read 3:50 and the bonds of embarrassment which seemed to hold me captive began to release its grip. I avoided eye contact as I remained firmly planted in my seat while everyone left the room around me. My real classmates began to file in while the sting of embarrassment took its sweet old time in leaving me. It is safe to say that I now have a very different take on the phrase "the early bird gets the worm"...